Address in the heart - Karolina Hejmanowska

I met Karolina a few years ago, when she was passing through Rzeszów with her boyfriend, she offered to meet. We spent a few hours on an interesting conversation. We met even later at a THCulture concert in Żory, where Karolina lived at the time. Karolina turned out to be an "enthusiast" SMAR SW, wrote reviews of all lubricant plates on her blog. Last year, Karolina published her debut novel "Address in the Heart. Part 1", in which punk lyrics appear, m.in.: SMAR SW.

On September 1st, the first part of my debut novel, which takes place in the 90s (at least most of it), was released on the market; There is a lot of punk rock and metal. What did I write about? Everything is there; A palette of emotions, as I say it.

Love story, addiction (drugs), skinheads.

Life. Simply. An additional flavor are fragments of song lyrics (mainly punk), which go well with the novel.

Excerpt 1:

Katowice, August 7, 1994 (Sunday), 5:00 a.m.

It was already dawn when the train stopped at the Katowice station.

Everyone was asleep, except for Tomek, who did not bat an eye that night due to the pain caused by the beating by the policeman.

He was exhausted both mentally and physically. The situation was not improved by the fact that he was simply sleepless.

The festival conditions (during the whole three days of the festival he hardly slept at all (!), because he couldn't let go of the pleasure of watching bands such as: Farben Lehre, Nauka o Shit, Defekt Muzgó, or The Bill) plus the amount of alcohol consumed and an incident with the police and security made him feel like he was balancing on the edge of life and death.

- Hey, wake up, get up! We are on the spot - he turned to his friends.

The first to wake up was "Rooster".

- Ooo, already in the morning? How did you sleep? - he turned to his friend.

- Fuck off. You know that I didn't have the conditions to sleep - Tomek smirked.

- Why are you so angry? If you want to hold a grudge against someone, it's only yourself. I offered you a cure earlier - defended "Rooster".

- "Medicine"?! You call this shit a "cure"?!

- Uh, quieter there! Well, put on a good morning! - said the "Deserter", who was abruptly awakened from sleep.

- Guys, did it bounce back on you, or what? He asked, seeing his best buddies facing each other in a belligerent posture.

For a moment longer, "Rooster" and Tomek looked at each other, after which Tom was the first to give up and, lowering his hands, turned to his friend:

"I'm fine, I'm sorry, man. I just didn't even blink an eye, let alone the whole mess in Jarocin.

For a few seconds, "Rooster" was still looking at him with a serious face, but then a radiant smile appeared on his face:

- All right. You have the right not to be in a good mood. After all, it was you who was most affected by this trip.

"I'm glad you don't hold a grudge, thanks," and then he hugged his buddy.

- Well, give yourself some more faces and everything will be fine - added the yellow-haired punk to finally relieve the tension.

- Fuck yourself - the friends replied jokingly.

"Hey, look, it's unbelievable," the "Deserter" ignored the remark. "Our punk queen slept through the whole action," he said, leaning over to Anne and shouting in her ear: "OPEN! POLICE! - and then the three of them burst into thunderous laughter.

- Fuck you, you're abnormal! - shouted the frightened girl.

"They say 'fucked', honey," replied "Rooster".

She wanted to answer something, but at that moment the conductor entered the compartment and, looking at the colorful, loud and, let's be honest, stinking group, announced:

- Ekhm... You should get off by now. We're there - having said that, he moved away a little too quickly.

- "Ekhm... You should get off by now. We are there" - Tomek mocked the conductor when they got off the train.

- Did you see that face when he addressed us as "You"? What a twist of murder - he laughed.

"That's right, an unforgettable sight," his red-haired friend echoed him.

"Okay, boys, that's enough. So, maybe we can head to the station to check the bus? I miss my warm crib and hot bath.

"I don't dream of anything else either," "Dezerter" agreed with her.

***

- Massacre, if my mother sees me, she will kill me - Tomek asked his friends when they were returning to Żory.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll tell you that I won't have an idyll either." I mainly mean my father," replied "Rooster," and at the very thought of his swollen eye (or perhaps of his father's anger), he grimaced.

"Oh, does that mean I'll never see you again?" - asked Anne with feigned concern.

- Very funny, very - Tomek shook his head.

"And just so you know," she smiled radiantly at him.

Excerpt 2:

Żory, August 7, 1994 (Sunday), 8:04 a.m.

After saying goodbye to his friends, Tomek went to his apartment, which he shared with his mother, stepfather and younger siblings.

He was about to enter the staircase when he suddenly stopped abruptly.

They have probably already heard about the smoke and will ask questions. I have to collect my thoughts first," he began to rummage through the pockets of his leather jacket.

Seconds passed, but he didn't find what he was looking for and felt frustration growing inside him.

Fuck it, I still missed it. They must have fallen out of my jacket, after all, so much was happening... Besides, I haven't smoked for many hours, I have to figure something out - the boy took out the rest of the money that he somehow managed to keep and headed to the nearest kiosk, which was located in the housing estate where he grew up.

***

When he arrived, he greeted Mrs. Jadzia, an elderly woman in her sixties, who has been running a small neighborhood kiosk for years:

- Good morning, Mrs. Jadzia. I'll ask for a pack of "killers"... I mean the Popular - he smiled.

- Good morning, there is no one at the moment.

He thought for a moment, then asked:

- And Sports are?

- Yes. One?

- Please. Ah... and a pack of matches. I lost it. Looking at me - saying this, he counted the money and was about to say goodbye, but he changed his mind and asked:

"Can you kindly explain to me why you are looking at me like that?" After all, we've known each other for so many years... You know exactly what I look like, don't you?

Mrs. Jadzia, clearly embarrassed, tried to explain herself:

- No... I just...

"Fuck it," her boyfriend interrupted and left.

***

Tomek stopped in front of his block and lit a cigarette. He took a deep puff and felt relieved.

That's what I needed - he thought.

However, his sense of peace was disturbed by a certain sight.

No, just not now....

In the distance, he saw a boy approaching. He was of a similar age, they called him "Hitler". They were by no means colleagues.

Bald head, red suspenders, jeans, a white polo shirt and black, well-groomed martens.

Unfortunately for Tomek, he also saw him. "Hitler" smiled mockingly from ear to ear and said to the punk:

"I see that the festival for aunts is already over, since you've come back.

Tomek felt blood pulsing in his temples.

In other conditions, he would probably have gotten into a fight with him, which would have ended in hand-to-hand fights, but now he felt exhausted both mentally and physically.

- What's the matter? Are you deaf, dirty? Who put such a finger on you? Am I late? - he made fun of the boy.

With his last will, the punk refrained from throwing himself at the provocateur. Today, he would not have the slightest chance with him and he was well aware of it.

Instead of throwing his fists at him, he gave him a menacing look and threw an unsmoked cigarette on the grass. He then trampled on it with a glan that would definitely need to be cleaned, then turned his back on the skinhead and walked away.

He only hoped that the enemy was not following in his footsteps.

***

He stopped in front of the apartment door and took a deep breath, then slowly let the air out. He wished he had finished that cigarette, but he had no choice. If he had stood there for a while, he probably wouldn't have been able to stand it and did what he usually did. He let himself be carried away by emotions. Fortunately, the skin decided to let him go. Nevertheless, punk swore to himself that as soon as he returned to form, he would take revenge. He will not miss his texts. However, he will have to wait a bit for this and, if possible, avoid encounters with aggressors. However, he will worry about that later. Now she has to prepare to meet her mother and her husband. He didn't have the strength to explain to his mother or her boyfriend what really happened there.

He was aware that whatever he said, he would hear the same song:

"It's a place for junkies and degenerates", "How can you listen to something like that?", "You should finally get wiser, throw off those rags and look like a normal, civilized person".

The only question is, what does a "normal, civilized person" really look like? And who said that people from the circle of subcultures are not? Who came up with it? Do punks always have to be pushed to the margins of society? And for what, actually? For the fact that they have a different opinion, views on life and look different than most people? And the biggest paradox is that it is the "normal and civilized" who think so.

With this in mind, he put the key in the lock (fortunately, he kept it on the inside of his jacket, where it was relatively safe) and gently twisted it.

He barely set foot in the apartment when his stepfather "greeted" him at the door.

- You are finally here. I saw through the window that you were entering the cage. What have you been doing there for so long? And what do you look like? Do you know that your mother is losing her mind? They talked about this degenerate time on television.

I knew. It's already starting - Tomek thought and rolled his eyes.

- I'm talking to you, are you listening to me? Boy, a bit of culture - the stepfather addressed the boy, a little too nervous for Tomek's taste.

- I hear, I'm not deaf! - he evaporated furiously. He cheered up only when he saw a black and brown German shepherd running out of his room. She loves this dog. He got it from his father for his sixth birthday. Nero is called.

- What are these screams? - Tomek's mother said, and then joined her husband and son.

- Hello, mom - Tomek greeted him.

- God, child, I was so worried about you! And what do you look like? I watched TV and...

"Television is lying," her boyfriend interrupted. - Can I finally enter this house properly?

When asked about this, the adults decided to move away from him enough so that he could close the door, take off his shoes and skin.

- Where are the kids? - he asked.

- Who do you call a "kid"? - Dawid answered the question with a question and smiled at his brother from ear to ear. However, the smile on his face did not last long.

- What happened? - he asked frightened.

- Massacre, do I look so bad? He asked, then headed towards the bathroom to look at his face.

Only now did he understand why the lady from the kiosk was looking at him with fear, why the skinhead he met in front of the block asked: "Who put such a finger on you?" and why his mother was so terrified when she looked at him.

His face looked terrifying. Bags under the eyes, earthy complexion, visible bruises. It is the result of exhaustion, lack of sleep, alcohol abuse (after all, the festival lasted three days and you had to turn up properly), malnutrition, not to mention a fight with uniformed services.

- Oh fuck - that was the only comment about my own appearance.

• 6 comments

  › Dada 2021-02-20 00:46:55 - PL

  Serio? Taka powieść kręci facetów ze Smara?

  › yogi 2021-02-20 10:46:31 - PL

  A skąd masz takie wrażenie, że kręci?

  › adi 2021-02-26 20:09:19 - PL

  Ekstra, nie ma to jak oceniać nie czytajac. Moze najpierw przeczytaj dada a jak nie, to po co takie gadki? chyba, ze przeczytales, ale watpie. zachecila mnie ta opinia i mam podobne odczucia. nie jest cukierkowo, choc na poczatku wlasnie sie tego balem. pozdro. https://punkowastrona.wordpress.com/2021/01/23/adres-w-sercu-cz-1-recenzja-ksiazki/

  › Dada 2021-02-27 00:58:06 - PL

  Adi dlaczego twierdzisz, że oceniam nie czytając?

  › Dada 2021-02-27 01:01:44 - PL

  Yogi tak myślę po obfitości cytatów

  › yogi 2021-02-27 08:49:12 - PL

  @Dada wyciągasz błędne wnioski, "obfitość cytatów" nie świadczy o tym, że mnie to kręci, a jedynie o chęci przybliżenia treści. Gdyby były dostępne dłuższe fragmenty - opublikowałbym je. Z mojej perspektywy jest to "ciekawostka" o cytowaniu tekstów zespołu SMAR SW w powieści młodej pisarki i dlatego jest o tym informacja.
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